new kid on the blog

So appears on the mats of my Dojang the other day a Canadian Taekwondo practitioner (3rd Dan), Hapkido practitioner (3rd Dan), 5 years Muay Thai fighterand 8 years Canadian Kick Boxer. Add to that he’s huge. And stern. Think of any US army movie you’ve watched. Now think of the drill sergeant. Yep, that’s exactly him. Not surprising since he trained police officers there.

Hitting the mats with grace, flow and flexibility wasn’t his aim. He was here to share the quickest, deadliest, smartest way to take down your opponent. No aerobatic flying kicks, spin kicks or any fanciful dancing like that in his dictionary. It was quick, sharp and extremely painful. That means in his school of thought, there should not be kicks higher that the sternum. Why? Because high kicks leave you vulnerable to counter attacks that pushes you off balance.

Well, argue against that if you may. It’s just a different school of thought and the point is to learn as much as possible from one another. For me, practising high kicks is not so much for the street but to train your leg power.

All in all, still a fruitful 2 hour session with him practising the mother of all locks, the wrist locks and quick location of the pressure points; points, he claims, when hit hard, will make a grown man whimper like a little girl. I should know. He demonstrated some moves on me.

His best advice? When robbed at knife point, take out your wallet, fling money on one side and run the other. Only defend yourself when left with no choice.

Okay, if you say so big guy.

I watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and it was fantastic! I highly recommend this movie to anyone who grew up with them as your heroes - in a half shell no less. They have finally put back the "ninja" in the ninja turtles, and having gone through the cuddly cute versions of the TV cartoons and life action movies, trust me, this movie is what the ninja turtles are really about. With kickass camera work, and one of the best fight choreography I had ever seen in an animated film,reminiscent of the Hong Kong action films of the 1990s, which makes it perfect. Particularly love the scene with Michelangelo skateboarding through the pipes and tunnels of the sewers.

What’s not too nice is the voice of Zhang Ziyi as "Karai"  which actually sounds quite bad. And that Michelangelo can’t be seen using his nunchakus due to censorship while Leonardo and Raphael got more "fighting screen time" with their actually deadlier weapons, the Katanas and the Sai. It would have been fun seeing Michelangelo spinning the nunchakus like Bruce Lee, then goof up in a true Michelangelo fashion. Oh well, we can only hope for the sequel, which I’m rather sure they are making.

The characteristics of the 4 turtles we are so familiar with stays the same, Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines, Raphael’s cool but rude and Michelangelo’s the party dude. The dynamics of their relationship has very much matured from their heydays and it’s rather nice to watch.

Do catch it if you can.

Cowabunga!

Was a men’s night out with Sirfan, Nanda, Me and a bunch of Bruce Lee DVDs over the weekend. Great food, good company, good entertainment, what more can a man ask for?

A blooper of course!

Now this is a screenshot of a an extra in Enter The Dragon, one of Bruce Lee’s movie. This is, well, one of those blink or you’ll miss moments. The scene was typical, a major fight scene involving loads of people. As the camera pans, this extra was spotted lying quite comfortably.

Picture was take by Sirfan off the TV set.

It’s great to see the Colex company placing recycling bins in neighbourhoods, and even greater to see that on most days I pass by, the bins filled to the brim.

I think people closer to my age remember those HUGE recycling bins in MRT stations that were flops because they either filled with rainwater, vandalised or the wrong types of waste in the wrong bins, and they were just too far from most people’s houses for them to lug their waste all the way. Then they took it away (of course, "they" being those who do such stuff like upgrading lifts and renovating side walks). And we were left with no where to recycle except the karang guni man who only collected the stuff that can earn him money, which means thousands of glass and plastic bottles going down the drain, or, well, chute.

Then there was one time some smart alec from NUS who, sponsored by some smart alec rich company, made one of those jackpot machines where you pop in a drink can and the machine randomly gives you a price that most of the time said "Sorry please try again". Nice idea, until people started picking up drink cans for that sole purpose of hitting the jackpot and of course, like all fun gadgets like that, the novelty wears off  and these machines joined the Tamgochis in "Novelty Products of Yore Heaven". That, and the public went away still not the least bit educated about the virtues of recycling.

All these while The Body Shop offered a $1 discount for bottles that you return to be refilled, and also being only place in town that actually collect back used bottles, but only their own.

So now that Colex had given neighbourhoods nice recycling bins in the vicinity, there is now absolutely no excuses for anyone not to separate their rubbish into paper/plastic and glass/aluminium cans or to sell those you can to the karang guni man. Also be conscious of the amount of plastic bags and packaging used, so as to reduce the amount of wastage as far as possible.

Thank you.

Yeah. It’s a rest day Monday for me. Of course, the decent thing to do is to update everyone with a photo of the swelling.

Yea. It has improved quite a bit. Not too painful now too.

Good thing my cheeks didn’t turn green as what my dentist warned could happen.

Well, speaking of green, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are coming back on the big screen!

Now you fans out there, here’s a nice wallpaper I found on the
internet.          

The animators are following the look of the original comic, which looks like this:

Nothing like the goofy, clumsy and somewhat fat version of the 1980s TV series we saw as kids and loved. This new movie looks meaner and leaner; what ninjas should look anyway.I like this look very much as they seem to pay homage to the original comic, making it much darker and grittier. And of course, Michelangelo and his nunchaku is still my favourite turtle.

I’ll just choose to ignore the fact that they are called the "ninja" turtles when really, they do very little ninjitsu. It’s more Karate if you ask me.

Ah well, what’s in a name.

Why in hell do they call that damn tooth a wisdom tooth?

Anyway, I had my bottom two removed today. Wisdom teeth that is. Just what WERE you thinking?

Kind of complicated process as they are what dentists call "impacted", that is, they are trapped by something somewhere and thus have problems growing normally preferring to shy away and stay under the gums unlike the rest of its peers. In other words, its the teeth equivalent of the class nerd. And woah before you go all "hey you don’t make fun of other people in your blogs just because you, well, blog", well, I’ve got the license to make fun of any class nerds ’cause I was one, along with my other license for Chinese and Indian racial jokes.

So anyway, I had my impacted bottom wisdom teeth removed. My dentist, Dr Allan Choo, had a darn hard time removing my teeth cause they were buried so deep in the gums and get this, the roots are curved.

The surgery took like 2 hours. All in all, it wasn’t pleasant, but it was fine. I’ve been through worse surgical procedures really.

The worst thing was actually the damn pain after the surgery. I can’t eat anything except for porridge and fluids and worst of all (or prayers answered for some), I can’t speak. And that’s not the end of it, I suddenly have swollen cheeks that make me look, hmmm, well, actually, I don’t look that bad with a bit of fat of my cheeks. Gives it that, you know, that Brad Pitt’s jawline kind of thing.

Okay never mind.

Painkillers works really well. I want to kiss the person who invented those.

Spent a nice long weekend at Bintan prior to this. Now to all you people who have not gone there, here’s my opinion, the humblest one.

What’s great about Bintan?
The beach. Nice fine sandy beaches, nice blue water. And for you straight guys out there, it’s the winter break, so expect to see white chicks at around this time of the year. And it’s just an hour’s ferry ride from Singapore, good for a weekend getaway. When I went, I got to ride on an elephant, the All Terrain Vehicle (ATV) and best of all, Kayaked, something I haven’t done since my army days.

What’s not so great?
The prices there are the same as Singapore’s except for maybe the massages. The food ain’t nothing to be proud of and the service is inconsistent. Some of the staff are just amazing, putting the ones in Giordano to shame, while others are well, simply put, downright rude. Kind of strange. The service is either darn good or darn bad, no where in between.

All in all, I did have loads of fun. But do apply your sunscreen religiously. Please.

Well, it was a darn eventful February so far, with my really fun reservist and watching Bruce Lee flicks with a darn good buddy and vomiting halfway through Hapkido training and then having Yu Sheng with my instructor. Oh and firecrackers for the second time for me during Chinese New Year since they aren’t banned in Indonesia. The first was in Beijing.

Okay off to drink my soya bean drink, my only source of food today. I feel like a Hindu priest now (remember my license mentioned above).

Okay guys, have a nice February and to all ACS boys out there, Founder’s Day is coming.

Okay no idea why I mentioned that.

My Hapkido instructor was a victim of a crime and I seriously think, for the first time in his life (or his life as I know it), he simply couldn’t bring the said assailant down to his knees weeping and crying and calling him "daddy". I can say, with due respect sir, that he has finally found his match.

The assailant was a mobile phone virus.

Yea, I know, this is the point when people throw their hands up and go "chey!" or "hey dude, your puerile humour days are really behind you, grow up" or well, maybe you don’t even read  to this portion, which I don’t blame knowing how I haven’t used a single full stop in this paragraph so far. BUT, if you really want to know, or don’t really have a life, or trying to look busy and need something on your screen with loads of words, then read on.

Now THIS virus actually sends pornographic pictures to people in your phone list. Cool huh? Uh, I mean, errr, what kind of a jerk could do a virus like that?

Well, I don’t know how it happened but my instructor mentioned that his daughter left his phone’s bluetooth on, and that let in the virus.

I say he got lucky. When I left my blue tooth on, the only thing I got was a low battery.

ANYWAY, he had to put up a notice in the Dojang (training centre) to tell everyone that his phone was hit by a virus and all those who received any porn are the result of that. He even made a police report. Which, I say, is the right thing to do. The next right thing was going to the Nokia care centre and "reformatting" the phone.

The wrong thing, guys, is to go up to my instructor and laugh at this incident unless you think that the 4-hr wait at NUH with a broken arm is the best way to pass a weekend.

Have a nice day. And find a hobby. Please.

No idea how it happened. Washed my dobok (white Hapkido uniform), hung it up to dry, and when I took it down, saw, (cue Alfred Hitchcock’s"Psycho" music) horrors of horrors, yellow stains!!!

Darn.

It was at this moment I actually wished that Dynamo doctor looking dude was real and not some struggling actor waiting for his big break. ‘CAUSE I SO NEED HIM RIGHT NOW!!! In a, ah-hem, professional sort of way.

Dipped it into the pail again, the dobok I mean.I only hand wash my dobok, don’t trust those machines, yep, the irony. Dumped in a whole load of washing powder and a bleach and scrubbed at the stains for all that’s worth. The &*%$#@ stains didn’t even bother to budge.

The first thing I work up this morning, I ran down to rat infested Prime supermarket (don’t ask) and got a bottle (2 actually, comes in pairs) of Kiwi Stain Remover.

Followed instructions on the bottle. It says "spray on stains, leave on for a few minutes before laundering as per normal". It should actually add these line, "If this doesn’t work, YOU’RE SCREWED!" And "WHY THE ^%$*^ ARE YOU DOING YOUR OWN DAMN LAUNDRY YOU PATHETIC MORON WHEN THE REST OF YOUR COUNTRYMEN HAVE UNDERPAID FOREIGN TALENTS TO DO IT FOR THEM? NOW GO GET A LIFE AND HIRE SOMEONE. IN FACT YOU KNOW WHAT? WE MIGHT EVEN PRINT THIS IN TAGALOG NEXT TIME SO YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WE’RE LAUGHING AT YOU HAHAHA."

As you may have already guessed, it didn’t work.

Errr, yea, professional help needed.

This is a crisis. Does anyone notice Singaporeans just can’t smile? Well, it’s probably a well-known fact, but well, I just want to blog.

You see, I’ve been thinking (cue: gasp of disbelieve and sniggers from background), which cues me to say, "Yes, I’ve been THINKING." Smiling, well, at least to me, is one of the simplest skill you would ever pick up in life, or at least be forced to. I mean, look, by the time you realise, after you are born, that you possess hands, someone tells you to use them to write. Or the day you weep when you saw a ballet performance and realise that at age 24, you can’t even run in a straight line.

BUT, smiling. No one, not as far as I know, is told to do a 360 degree point turn smile or a round house flying smile or a one inch smile that sends people flying through the air, thus making you a star of "Smile of Fury". No, smiling is simple and it ends there, simply simple.

So, which brings us to our next point. Is smiling so simple that it insults the intelligence of millions of Singaporeans, and soon to be Singaporeans, to smile?

I have a theory that I have observed over many years of my existence. Smiling, to a lot of Singaporeans, is NOT a greeting. It’s rude to smile AS a greeting. You do not smile, you must say something. I think most of you descendants of that huge land mass whose ancestors spent their free time building a long wall where brought up to greet their relatives by calling them by seniority. For example, the second brother of you dad’s would be "2nd Uncle". And you HAVE to say it! You cannot say, "Hello." or "Nice to see you again." And you CANNOT JUST SMILE.

So it becomes that. It’s all about saying something. So you walk into most departmental stores and the cashier thanks you with a straight face. Or a fellow diner and a food court takes her change from the food seller with nary a thank you nor a smile, because, well, that’s not her relative and there’s nothing to say. 

Agree? 

It’s my day off today to nurse a flu, so thus, the influx of a whopping TWO posts in one day!

Anyway, the list (a whopping 3!!!):

1. Po Chai Pills. Works for your stomachache and indigestion everytime!
2. Nin Jiom Pi Pa Kao cough syrup. It tastes darn good, it works, and you can take it everyday for general health.
3. Martial arts movies. ‘Nuff said.